TalkingEyes

Why is it that we always want what we can’t have?  Why is it that the minute it is taken away we want to have it all back?  And why do we take extreme measures to get it?  At this point is persistency the answer?

Think about it for a second…things are good, at least this is what you believe.  You walk around thinking that it just can’t get any better, wow; you are shielded by this bubble that no one can burst.  You are so comfortable, maybe even too comfortable, that you let go of your common sense.  You let loose and the walls of defense come down.  With the absence of the walls you are feeling free.  Free enough to talk, but not the way you would have before.  Without thoughts before speech you say what is on your mind.  What’s on your mind could be something that one perceives as insulting, condescending and/or insecure.  You come off as your true self.  You blabber these words and this person thinks that it’s uncalled for.  It’s such a big deal to them that it turns them off completely.  Enough that the words “we need to take a break” are said.  Now without noticing what you did, or how it wrong, they no longer want to deal with you.   Your spots are in full-blown-frontal-exposure.   

The idea of having one say this to you can be taken two ways: (1) whatever, you brush this off, you walk it out or (2) your persistence becomes an annoyance, it is not welcomed.

The idea behind walking this out is all based on how you handle it from the beginning.  Listen, we are all for the cat-n-mouse chase but, when the chase becomes too much to bear, this is when you cut your losses and simply dismiss the notion.  A firm believer, in this technique, is why I can say I am partially cynical yet wholly realistic.  Brushing it off is quite simple.  Simple enough to comprehend, yet difficult that you must stand your ground, no matter how many times the phone buzzes.  You see, handle that, what I mean by this is take that one call.  Only accept the communication when they are rational, if you handle the call while they are red-in-the-face, then it’s pointless.  Once you have them behaving like a reasonable adult, state why you are no longer interested.  Point out facts, don’t sugar coat it, talk like men do - straight to the point.  Listen, looking out for someone is all good but in the end, it is about your sanity, your peace of mind, you hear me talking?  It’s not about how you don’t want to break their hearts; it is not about how they will react to the situation, simply put, it is about taking care of yourself.  So with that being said, say it and mean it.  If the calls continue, then do what I do, and it never fails - change the name, in the over populated address book, as a “Don’t Answer” and take it to the next level, switch the ringer to “Mute“.  Listen a 4.99$ one-time fee is a small investment to spare the headaches if you ask me.  Eventually, if they are sharp enough shed tools, they will get the hint. 

Now, let me take it to the level where I am not sweet-talking anymore.  Persistence, such a great word don’t you think?  The true meaning behind it I mean, but if used improperly it can be disastrous.  Persistence, can be used as a the technical term for neediness.  Yes I said it.  The neediness in a person is ultimately the deal breaker.  If you ask me, neediness in a man (because of course I needed to say it) is equivalent to a man wearing panties.  As I use this phrase over and over again, while referring to that one particular man, it is just makes me nod my head to the thought.  You see, persistence used with the intent of making it better is good; using it to become that annoying being is bad.  Eventually it comes to the point that you dread looking at your phone.  You get to the point where you avoid looking at it, because if the number isn’t already listed, you swear up and down that you’ll jinx yourself and call him telepathically and then he’ll actually call.  (As if the morning commute isn’t enough, you have to deal with the annoying calls, over and over AND over.  Let me sip on my java, wake my mind up and then brace the idea of swatting this away). 

So now ladies and gentlemen let me ask you this, is it that difficult of a message to relay?  It sure is, as per the opinion of the TalkingEyes and I’m going to make a case in point:

Picture this, a woman and a man.  Relationship is great, great enough that candidly and light hearted they speak in future terms.  They talk about marriage and vampires (yes vampires, like the ones that hang upside down and are allergic to the sun).  The chemistry is there and they seem to get along until one day something is said.  What was reported was something that really turned the knobs and made her realize she just couldn’t.  The word was spread and somewhat left her amazed that he would ‘take it to that level’.  So in an act of trying to blow him off, she tells him “they need a break”.  Rather than accept this, he becomes the bold man with texting powers.  You know, just not-ready to talk on the phone but is a Tasmanian devil with the text messages.  Something like a simple text isn’t suffice; he types a saga and a half.  He punches words away…he didn’t mean to…she’s breaking his heart…he just can’t live without her…that Romeo and Juliet bullshit.  He goes into how when he lays his head down onto his pillow he hopes to not wake and her also or some bullshit like that, who the hell knows.  Anyways, it comes to a point that she says she cares not to deal with it, to call it a night.  And instead he continues throughout the evening.  As his texts come in, she always returns a reply, giving him the green light.  Should she have nipped it in the bud immediately and if she really meant to call it a night, how should she have handled it from the start? 

As a concise advisory to her I said do not reply, let it be, but knowing how most women are, she replies because she wanted to shut him down, have the last word…instead it is weeks later and he is still going strong.  Had it been my shoes trampling this dilemma, I would have turned the heels and walked off, I just wouldn’t tolerate it.  And I’ll explain why. 

A man is supposed to be a man, strong in all senses.  Sure you can break down once or twice, shoot if I see you thru the eyes of love you can have a few more moments of weakness and I’ll take that as a compliment, that you are that comfortable enough around me, but do I want a sap?  No way.  So being that I just am cynical in a wholly realistic way I would not engaged in the text-war scenario.  Did it once and won the battle but doesn’t mean I care for it again.  It just isn’t worth my time.  You see, when you decide to let go, you do that exactly - let go.  You don’t encourage the behavior.  You don’t invite them over.  You don’t reply to text messages.  You don’t lead them on.  It’s just not how it works.  If you care for the constant bugging then this will certainly fill your schedule but if you’re willing to dedicate your precious time to something worthwhile, go ahead and ignore the calls, go paint your toe nails girl.  Engross yourself in that People magazine you’ve been meaning to read for the umph-teen time.  Call up a long distance pal and talk about what’s been going on with you since junior high school - just don’t give in.  If you keep the communication lines open you are bound to hear the words “it’s not over” and is it worth it?  No. 

“Never let your persistence and passion turn into stubbornness and ignorance”.

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